What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Where did Noah build the Ark? Was it in a desert or near water?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

If I only have a fire extinguisher to defend myself against some threat from people, should I spray them for max damage or just hit them with the fire extinguishers?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are "demonic attacks" and how can one tell when they're happening to them, or someone else? How would one go about dealing with it?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why are people saying that Trump is fat when he is an athletic 6 foot 3 and 215 pounds?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What is your response when someone says "how may I help you"?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Has anyone ever read The Holy Bible completely through? If so, what was your overall impression of it?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Fishing is a popular pastime on many US beaches. What is a type of saltwater fish commonly caught from piers or by wading (flounder, redfish, etc.)?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do you suck men's dicks?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is the most inappropriate thing your wife has done in front of you?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What made you feel disgusted today?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.